Monday, January 19, 2009

THE ANTICHRIST MESSIAH REVEALED 2012 » Satanic Bloodline Magick ..

“This is like the most historic event I’ve ever seen in my entire life,” claimed Feldstein, a white 28-year old fashion designer from Manhattan. “I feel as though things have totally changed now. As soon as he’s taken his oath of office, I’m going to go find the nearest black man and sleep with him. That way, I’ll be able to rid myself of the guilt I feel for the injustices of the evil white man.”

Whether it’s racial equality or fevered spasms, many will tune in tomorrow, peaking with excitement. The delirious build up is likely to see many orgasms right there in the National Mall in Washington, D.C., sending thousands running for the Port-a-Potties that line the mall.

“This is so exciting,” said an enthusiastic Cherry Downer, a 25-year old Columbia medical student. “I’m with Katie Couric. I get all tingly just thinking about his speech tomorrow. I can’t wait. I love you, Katie!”

If the world comes together and 1,000,000 people orgasm for Barack Obama, then he will be elected President. Use this space to detail you orgasm for Obama, inspire the world and help elect a great man.

Excited about Porta Pottie SEX at Obama Inauguration?

Yes, lying Christian jihadist Rick Warren is officiating Barack Obama's apotheosis into Grand Messiah of the apocalypse, but that doesn't mean that the Inauguration shouldn't be a reason to party. Even if you're not a fan of Changey McHoperstein, you can celebrate the fact that you've survived the last eight years and hope for a better one, and there's plenty of things to fill up your gay dance card—not just in D.C., but across the nation.

You'll also be able to follow the Inauguration through live updates on Queerty's twitter account beginning on Tuesday, January 20th. Follow it now and join in the fun online.

Sunday, January 18,

The Invocation

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We Are One: The Obama Inaugural Celebration at the Lincoln Memorial

The Rt. Rev. Gene Robinson, bishop of the U.S. Episcopal Church in the diocese of New Hampshire and one of the U.S.'s major openly gay religious leaders will kick-off the Obamanation with an invocation on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial (see related story). The event is free and open to the public and will be followed by a concert featuring Beyoncé, Mary J. Blige, Bono, Garth Brooks, Sheryl Crow, Renee Fleming, Josh Groban, Herbie Hancock, Heather Headley, John Legend, Jennifer Nettles, John Mellencamp, Usher Raymond IV, Shakira, Bruce Springsteen, James Taylor, and Stevie Wonder.

HBO will also broadcast the event at 7pm EST and you don't even need to be a subscriber to access it, though you will need a cable provider.

L Word Season 6 Premiere in Washington, D.C.

The Human Rights Campaign and Showtime present the season 6 premiere of The L Word at Town Danceboutique at 7pm. You can RSVP here.

Tuesday, January 20

Out for Equality at the Mayflower Hotel
Got a ton of money and feel like partying it up with the A-list gays? You're HRC's kind of guy, and for $375 a head you'll get Melissa Etheridge, Cyndi Lauper, Rufus Wainwright, Thelma Houston, Dave Koz, Catie Curtis, Ross Mathews, Potomac Fever from the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington, D.C. and a hosted bar and cocktail buffet. Tickets available here.

The Gay Inaugural Ball
GLBT in D.C. for Barack Obama is throwing an Inaugural Ball at the "Blair Mansion" (no, not the one near the White House, but what looks to be an apartment building near Jessup Blair Park at 7711 Eastern Ave. Starts at 6pm. $30 in advance. E-mail or for more info.

Honolulu Rainbow Obama Inauguration Ball

Kicking off at 5pm local time at the Wueen Kapiolani Hotel's Peacock Room, the event features live video feeds from D.C., live enteratinment and a black tie dress code. $40. Tickets here.

Dance for Equality at Town DanceBoutique

It's just like every other dance party you've ever been too, only it's to celebrate Obama. DJ Manny Lehman spins and Cyndi Lauper and Ross Matthews perform. Also an HRC event, but this one's only $50. Tickets here.

January 25th & 28th

Postcards to the President

Though the celebration might be over, LGBT activists in New York (Jan. 28th) and West Hollywood (Jan. 25th) are holding two parties (at Therapy and Here Lounge, respectively) to kick-off a postcard drive urging people to mail the new President and ask him to overturn the Defense of Marriage Act. 4000 postcards have been printed up for the events. More info here.

What are your inauguration plans? What events did we miss?

Law professor threatens lawsuit over inauguration toilets
The George Washington University The GW Hatchet, DC - Jan 15, 2009
... but Banzhaf said a lack of portable toilets is not main the issue. "Solving the potty parity is simple," Banzhaf said. "Don't sex-designate them. ...
Law Prof Warns Inauguration Committee of Possible Potty Parity Suit
ABA Journal, IL - Jan 13, 2009
By Debra Cassens Weiss A law professor has warned the Presidential Inaugural Committee that it could face a lawsuit over a likely portable toliet shortage ...
Nowhere to go
Boise Weekly, USA - Jan 14, 2009
Seattle, for example, recently auctioned off all their vandalized Porta Potties on eBay after vandalism became too rampant," Clark said. ... (Pressemitteilung)
Warnings Issued About Sex Discrimination at Inauguration // Law ... (Pressemitteilung), Austria - Jan 12, 2009
A. many portable toilets should be designated for use by both genders as on airplanes, trains, buses, etc B. for any sex-designated toilets, ... (Pressemitteilung)
Avoid Obamageddon At The Inauguration - The List of Things to ... (Pressemitteilung), Austria - Jan 15, 2009
By way of background, Professor Banzhaf's initial concerns about a potty parity problem if portable potties are sex designated sparked this report from the ... (Pressemitteilung)
Inauguration May Lack Sufficient Restrooms and Violate Potty ... (Pressemitteilung), Austria - Jan 10, 2009
Because women take far more time to use a restroom than men, even providing an equal number of portable potties for each gender -- a common practice ...

The Week Magazine
The best of the tabloids in 2008
The Week Magazine - Jan 1, 2009
Pennsylvania firefighters in biohazard suits had to use soap and a saw to remove a naked man stuck in a portapotty. Shannon Hunter, 31, was “wedged in tight ...

Obama's ascent has Washington buzzing
Ninemsn, Australia - 6 hours ago
Long rows of green "porta-potty" temporary toilets also were prepared to welcome the vast crowds. The Secret Service launched unprecedented security ...
Toilet terror driving US officials potty
Ninemsn, Australia - Jan 15, 2009
Eighteen portable toilets at construction sites around the city have been set on fire in the past two months. No one has been hurt, but the blazes have ...

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